True Friend

I feel your eyes on me as I talk to him
I turn to see … that all knowing grin
Why can’t you see he is only a friend?
A confidant when I’ve reached the ropes end

He never has once the border crossed
For fear of our friendship to ever be lost
He listens with ears that never falter
Steady as the rock known as Gibraltar

Yes he loves me it’s plain to see
…he thinks that’s blind to you and me
He is always there to listen, to care…
Turn away… please don’t’ stare

Walk away, leave this alone
your true feelings are better not known
to me is more than “just a man”
he is a true friend….
Something you will never understand!

GEL - Feb122010

The Real Me

So you stand there looking at me…
From what I can tell you like what you see
But I wonder if you could see with in…
Would it wipe from your face that shallow grin

If you could see beyond green eyes …
beyond the voices, beyond the lies
Into the deepest realms of my soul
Would you onto the fire heap mounds of coal

Or would you pretend to be someone you’re not
Opening the door… picking the lock…
Leading me on… the perfect one…
Till the ropes on my heart were all undone

When finally secrets of my being …all exposed
would you stare in wonder behind that door I closed
Or would you turn away with a shrug and sneer
as the depths of green eyes began to tear
or
Would you gather me to your warm embrace
Caressing drops of fear from my face
Would you ponder in wonderment all that you see
When you take the time to find… The real me -

- GEL Feb 11, 2010

Pictured Poetry

She speaks…
not always with words… but in pictures
Her camera the pen capturing moments her heart no words can speak
Moments…
When the sun glistens on the snow as tears on a wind a burned cheek
Moments…
When the red sky dawns warning of the storm within in her soul
Moments…
When swirling clouds …like the thoughts in her head no sense, no reason
Moments…
When the sun melts the snow from the pavement as ice from around her heart
Moments…
When the light breaks thru the trees as the sparkle from blue eyes brightens her day
Moments…
When the cold winds howl across the land as the past rears its ugly head
Moments…
When the soft morning dew glistens on rose petals as love from green eyes
Moments….
When snow blankets the ground as forgiveness covers her past
Moments…
When crashing waves signify the passion of her being
Moments…
When still waters… bring a quiet reprieve
Moments….

When as a breeze sets leaves in motion… her hand is moved to pen…

gel2010

Kindred Spirits

... as I struggle with words to paper... sometimes someone reads my mind... gel

your picture smiles
as I try to write
something
that will touch you
you smile is wistful
as if to say
”I wish...I wish...”
you look at me with clear green eyes
with subtle corner lines
that crinkle when you smile...
but your smile is not
as wide...or as free
as when he held you
”I wish...I wish...”
I stare back at you
staring at me....
your eyes twinkle
or is it a glimmer of pain
that has not healed
...that may not heal...ever...
you must make it numb
or it will do the same
...to your heart and life...
”I wish...I wish...”
so you put them down...
bury the memories deep...
heap upon them
...distractions...
...and business...
...and dedication to
other things...
to keep the memories
...of his touch...his scent...
...the sweetness of his lips...
buried...
”I wish...I wish...”
...it’s better now...
you can go a whole hour
without thinking
of the incredible joy you shared...
a week or two without the “ache”
...the sweet, sweet poems...
you poured out of your heart
in flowing waves of ink...
words you could not speak
without tears...
and now...cannot not read
without weeping
...you destroyed them all...
all the love you wrote
”I wish...I wish...”
you were alone with your pain...
there was no one who would share
...or truly listen...
...or understand...
one day...a soft voice
a listening ear
a caring heart
appeared at the window
to your heart and tapped on the glass
and you talked for hours
”I wish...I wish...”
I think he is a friend
in the truest sense...
...a kindred spirit...
that has walked the path
has felt the weariness of
...doing what is right
who has felt the pain...
and the ache...
who knows the temptation
and the euphoria
of that path you both have walked
he makes you feel
...so un-alone...
he writes you beautiful words
that help you heal
...and write again
...that man is me...
perhaps one day
we might meet...
and over good wine...
talk and laugh your pain away
”I wish...I wish...”

dtb

Lost...

A long time ago I put together a book for you...

In that book are some of my deepest thoughts

deepest feelings.... greatest love...

I want to read that book again...

I want to touch with my eyes the words

my heart wrote

I want to put them here ... you said I should!

But I wait...

You cannot find the book...

the book I made for you

Did you burn it... throw it away...

Never dreaming there

would come a day when

the expressions of my soul

would need to be read in black and white?

I will continue to wait...

in frustration as the excuses flow...

Somewhere in that book

are my tears...

the ones I never cry anymore!

Assumptions....

The Poet

I read her poetry today
it touched me deep within
I read and words rolled off my tongue
I tried to take them in

I read again...was more impressed
her style was all her own
for no two people write alike
unique nuances hone

I read another posting there
another written view
another seed producing fruit
perspective fresh and new

you cannot write of love and life
make your opinions known
without revealing precious truth
of qualities you own

a worthy work, commented I
a masterpiece...the rage
your gorgeous words mellifluous
my eyes read down the page

I think you’re quite remarkable
your words show that to me
passion oozed from every line
your ardor there to see

not just for me...for all who read
we read from start to end
you touch our hearts, our heads, our souls
we wish it’d never end

like a guitar, with words you strum
a chord serene and sweet
you take me to that place in me
where earth and heaven meet

you send your finely crafted thoughts
they to my heart imbue
a never-ending state of grace
that’s been long overdue

I’d love to know the woman who
helps me her world to see
through every word she ably writes
reveals herself to me

perhaps we’ll meet one future day...
your world and mine collide
we’ll show each other who we are;
we’ll take a peek inside

dtb

I believe you wrote this for me!

A likeness...

Sometimes someone puts into words feelings much like your own;

The Terrors

the terrors came to visit again last Thursday
making my mind race with self-doubt and fear
reducing me to a prisoner in my own home
a captive of my own mind, if truth be told
I was more courageous in my other life
unafraid to take a chance...or make a leap
the defining moment at the edge was just
a blur as I boldly raced by and jumped
Never afraid when others lose their salt
but now, I tremble at the smallest things
...when it rains...is everything protected?
...fears of money owed...how will I ever pay?
...of family and friends let down time
and again...how will I look them in the eye?
I search my life and see only my failures...
at times, the line stretches as far as I can see
I try to focus on my achievements...my successes
I try to concentrate on the bright spots in my life...
it’s as if my mind has ADD...the melancholy
returns as the waning light resets to zero
it’s like climbing a flight of stairs...you take
one step at a time, but the first riser is a bitch
A HUGE wall I face... some days I ascend on my own
today, I need a rocket to blast me to the tread
I know it would be good for me to get out...
it’s a little like getting out to go to church..,
you always feel much better once you get there...
but the terrors keep me frozen in my place
I really wish these terrors would up and go
but they hang about like visiting relatives
that have long outstayed their welcome
I’d love to pack their bags and send them off
then lock the windows and re-key the locks
and try to keep them outside my sanity...
but...they are persistent in their hassling...
they picked the locks and here they are again
like pantry moths invade the house, unawares
and take up residence in our cereal boxes , these
terrors occupy my mind ...I must ferret out their nest
smite them one by one until my sunshine returns
I must admit, I feel I’m like I’m gaining ground
the lows aren’t as low...or as long...as they’ve been
the nights aren’t a never-ending new moon
I see the glimmer light at the end of this tunnel